Feb 27th - Sorry for lack of posts

This isn't a real post really, Just thought I'd apologise for not posting anything in the past days as I have been reading a crapload about hypnosis and psychology and all that stuff. Everything I read makes me crave more knowledge about how we, as humans work. I am aiming to do a huge summary by the time I've gotten through my stack of books and I will make it up to you, I PROMISE!

Also I may be going to see Watchmen  at midnight next week! If you haven't read it, do! It's an amazingly complex and layered political thriller. Brilliant stuff

Feb 24th - God Complex

Ok, so one of the things my parents keep reminding me about as one of the dangers of hypnotism is gaining a god complex and a giant ego to go with it. To prevent this I don't really flaunt my 'abilities' and I am really humble about it. Which posed me this question: If I fear gaining a god complex, will I ever get one?

I mean, sure, I could get one without noticing but I don't know if that's possible or not.

Hypnotism Log:

Another Number Amnesia (Number 2)

Hand Anaesthesia (She could NOT feel her hand at all)

Reinforcement of last week's Therapy session (Now experiencing normal eating and sleeping habits and no more mood swings, generally happier with life)

I mean I am proud of myself and my achievements but I think it's more that I am happy with being able to help people change their lives. If I ever get egotistical about it, you let me know please :P

February 23rd - The Mighty Boosh

It's like having your mind raped by a midget wearing a rainbow coloured condom with shards of glass sticking out of it.

Feb 21st - A plethora of things have happened

I'm sure you all know exactly what's like to be intensively busy and you pretty much don't have time for anything except sleeping and eating in edgeways. It's been like that the past couple of days, except I invaded some of my sleeptime with watching 'The IT Crowd' but I'm sure if I hadn't, I would have killed everyone I know by now. 

So the show has been cast, in a surprising twist of fate The Guy was not cast as the main. No you read that right (should that be "yes you read that right?") - He didn't get it. Neither did I which is a pain in the ass. No, they went with a jock who is pretty high up on the pedestal and his entire head is a phallus. He's one of those guys who is just so damn awesome that they don't have to care about anyone's feelings because their feelings are more important, because he does sports. Whoop de fucking doo.

So their arguement for him to be cast in the role is that he looks the part. This guy is about 5'6", stocky and muscular, ugly as fuck but oh wait, he has curly hair. Jack Black had curly hair didn't he? Oh great, he'd be perfect because he has CURLY FUCKING HAIR.

Ok this is turning into a rage blog. (whiskers on kittens, whiskers on kittens, whiskers on kittens) Feeling better now. 

But I think the most frustrating thing about the whole casting process that they've gone through is that they are simply casting the parts as they resemble the characters in the movie OR they can play the instrument needed for those characters. In an awkward twist of fate, the teacher in charge of casting came up to me and said that I was hilarious in the audition but all the other parts were taken, so she was writing me a part. Wow, you might be saying, That's pretty dmn cool. 

Yes it is cool and this next paragraph is going to make me sound like a spoilt brat but hear me out. 

It's not cool, it's the opposite of cool. This proposition means 3 things:

1. They took pity on me
2. They're screwing around with a perfectly good script
3. I can't quit
   

That last one is the clincher. I had been asked months in advance to play horn for Les Miserables  up at the theatre in Orewa for $20 bucks a night. $20 a night for a 3 week season. I told myself while auditioning for the show that I would do it if I got a good part and would try to fit Les Miserables in or gratiously pull out of it. But now I haven't got a good part, I have a part that is likely to fuck up a good show, that will make no sense to fans of the movie and it's seriously in the way of my income stream.

If I pull out of School of Rock, my name is mud around school (Which it already is with the Head of Department - but that's a short story - She's a bitch and I'm not her beloved Guy), If I pul out of Les miserables, my name is mud at the theatre I've been at for 10 years and I will be broke for even longer.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH

Feb 17th - A Successful Hypnotherapy Session

I posted this on the IATH forums a while ago but I thought you guys would be interested in this

A friend of mine had been plagued by a crush that she was effectively a slave to (Her emotions, not the person). She also felt inadequate for any role of leadership, Hated how she looked and even self abused herself through depression.

I offered to help her through hypnosis as she was at the camp where I had my first bout of successes and believes in the power of it after witnessing first-hand and experiencing her hand getting stuck to her knee. She agreed to this as she wanted to be rid of these emotions. She had the willpower, she had the determination, she just didn't have the strength to do it alone, so I offered to help.

I took her aside after-school and sat her down and put her into a trance in about 2 minutes (pretalk inclusive). After several deepeners, I then told her to remember when I stuck her hand to her knee and re-imagine that except her hand was stuck to a large concrete ball that was made up of her crush for this guy, Her inadequacy and how she felt about herself and it was the only thing keeping her from reaching true happiness that was just out of her grasp as these problems were weighing her down. 

I then told her to put every single millimeter of her problems into her hand, dragged down by the ball onto her knee. Her arm was completely rock solid with tension and I told her that I was going to wake her up and she would be released from this weight when I snapped my fingers and she would feel relief, happiness and as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders enabling her to live life happily but she had to be released from the ball.

So I woke her up and she whimpered at how her hand was stuck and I told her again that her hand was stuck to her problems and happiness was just aboe her and she needed to let go to reach the happiness. I said "LET GO" as I snapped my fingers and she just fell back into her chair, exhausted but relieved and much much happier.

And who should walk by almost immediately after but her crush. She had no reaction to him at all. She said she normally felt nervous or had a cold sweat or dreaded whenever she saw him but she felt absolutely fine. I found out ater that she happily ate a full meal for the first time in a long time without any guilt or feeling physiologically sick.

Feb 16th - 5 minutes

I'm going to share some of my writing with you to make up for my absences, It's ok, It's been sitting on my desktop unfinshed for about 4 months now and I think I rushed the ending but here it is, my short story 5 Minutes.

Dad glanced up from the road to his stopwatch and turned to me with an excited grin. “Five minutes! You’ve been driving on the road perfectly for five minutes! How does it feel eh?”

 

 I turned and grinned back.

 

I awoke with a start as sweat dripped from every pore, sliding around my eyes. Once the world had come into focuse the clock read 5:03am. No time to go back to sleep now. Stumbling out of bed to the window, the floor tiles were cold against my bare feet. When I moved the curtains aside a blast of sound and noise erupted and poured into my apartment with an icy blast.

 

Life in the city. Great.

 

The morning ablutions took place and the clock read 6:10am. Time to get breakfast. The carpet was a brief respite of warmth that was stolen by the kitchen floor. Why was everything so damn cold? I was out of milk and I had no bread left. My options were to eat raw cornflakes, choke myself on dry muesli, or go out for breakfast before work. Considering I was in the mood for a hot breakfast, the latter seemed the best option.

 

Picking up my watch and wallet on the way to the front door, the picture of my family caught my eye. While it had always been there, my dream about Dad struck a chord in my heart and I missed them. I missed them all.

 

The elevator didn’t offer much hope for humanity. Human waste of various kinds, either biological or painted adorned the walls. I didn’t live in an upmarket area, nor was it downtown; I guess you get creeps everywhere. With a solid ‘thunk’, the elevator stopped at the level 2 car park.

 

My car was parked where it always was. We didn’t get allocated car parks, but we may as well have. Everyone parked in their own little area so no one would interfere with anyone else’s plans. I hardly ever saw anyone else who lived in the same building as me. Occasionally I wasn’t alone in the elevator but eye contact is a quickly dying tradition. My car, however, met my eye with an inanimate wink.

 

I love this car. My Dad bought it for me when I first got my license. The bright red paint was peeling around the edges, the paintjob interrupted with acne of rust but it still looked great to me. The door popped open and I sat in the seat and took a deep breath.

 

The motor purred into life and the car showed it’s true, unpeeling self. The stopwatch hung from the rearview mirror. I started the watch and began to pull out of the car park.

 

 

The stopwatch read 3 minutes. Traffic was flowing. This was not good. I would have to find a park within the next minute or so. I spotted a park next to the McDonalds clinging on to the side of a block like a greasy barnacle. My stomach churned at the thought but the stopwatch beeped. With a sigh, I pulled into the park.

 

An overly confident and happy young lady served me a salad with a disdainful look. It was either the fact I was ordering something that took effort to make and wasn’t sitting and rotting on the warming shelf, or because they still had last months hamburger patties to dispose of somehow. With cardboard lettuce in tow, I moved to the horrible seating. It seems humankind is not ready for back support as the gaudy red stools suggested. Sprouting from the floor like creepy mushrooms, I tried to decide which was worse; the décor or the ‘food’.

 

With my cynicism in full roar, I ate my salad grudgingly. My watch beeped, I would be late for work.

 

I abandoned my salad at the table and ran to my car. Resetting the stopwatch, I pulled out. I work only ten minutes from my apartment block but it may have well been twenty minutes away with the delays and traffic.

 

The stopwatch beeped. I was only 2 minutes away from work. The display read 4 minutes 20 seconds and counting up. I had to make a move quickly. There were no parks anywhere nearby and work loomed above me. I decided, stupidly, to push my limits. 4 minutes 50 seconds.

 

I was close. I could taste victory. My car space was 500 meters in front of me. The stopwatch’s alarm beeped down. I was 100 meters away when the stopwatch hit 5 minutes.

 

 

The policeman tapped on the window. A brief glimpse in the rearview mirror showed bruising on my forehead and it began throbbing. My lip was cut and I had a black eye. What a great start to the day.

 

Apparently my car had suddenly stopped in the middle of traffic and caused the car behind me to rear end me, throwing my head forward against the steering wheel. The other driver was fine and seemed embarrassed about the whole situation. I couldn’t tell who he blamed from his expression. He was hard to read. The Policeman clearly thought I was nuts but thought the damage to my car and my face was enough justice for the situation. The other driver simply waved me away when I went to ask for his insurance details. “Let’s just deal with our own problems, shall we?”

 

Those words either had more meaning before they left his mouth or once they had reached my ear, but they certainly struck home. Looking at my car, his words added insult to crippling injury – my car had grown shorter by a quarter of a meter. Fucking great.

 

 

I walked into work half an hour late. I was greeted with looks of pity from my fellow cubicle rats – not because of my obvious physical injuries but because of what I was about to receive from our petrifying overlord – Margaret.

 

Margaret should’ve been dead. She was one of those people who had graduated from the simple method of counting age by candles to carbon dating. Worst of all was she was fat. I’m not talking normal leftover weight from the holidays fat but massive. If she weren’t such a repulsive being, they would have milked several Discovery Channel specials out of her swelled, putrid flesh. Unfortunately for us; she had always been fat and her years as an underdog fueled her with the rage that turned her cheeks purple and sent ripples throughout her bulk.

 

You could hear her coming by the wake of silence she left behind her. Weekend stories being hushed with the sound of suddenly shuffled paper and nonchalant typing. I swear my mind added Jurassic Park footsteps to her approach. I followed the example of my colleagues and started typing.

 

The silence was deafening until I heard the signature “ahem” behind me. To the untrained and blind listener, Margaret’s throat clearing sounded cute, like a puppy’s first yelp but with experience you would learn that the puppy was actually being strangled and drowned in fake sugar and pink syrup.

 

“Running late are we?” Margaret asked me in her most insincere and sugarcoated voice. I could smell the doughnuts screaming from within her.

 

“Yes, I had a traffic accident, I apologize Margaret” I replied, swiveling in my office chair. She seemed almost shocked when she saw my face. For an instant I saw actual emotion, as if there was a real person stuck inside a giant angry fat-suit. She almost regained her composure – “Be more careful next time. It’s very easy to lose someone special in such accidents”. And with a candy-floss puff she left me in a slack-jawed state.

 

I checked my vital signs. My head was there; painful but still attached. My heart was beating but my head was in a flurry. Had Margaret just shown actual human emotion? Was there more to her than two dimensions of pure bitch?

 

The office rats turned back to their computers, just as dazed as I was.

 

 

 I worked a 12 hour shift. It kept me busy. It filled my life up. The car smiled as I approached but I knew it was just trying to make me feel better.

 

I was sick of this, sick of work, sick of life, sick of being afraid. Sick of being stuck in the same 2 square kilometers. My life had been controlled by my phobias for 10 years. An entire decade. It was time for me to take the reigns.

I got into the car, started the engine purring and put on my seatbelt. I looked at the stopwatch. It glared at me as it swung to and fro menacingly. I returned the glare. “Fuck you!” I said as I reset the timer. The milliseconds started hurtling forwards and I pulled out of the office and onto the motorway.

 

2 minutes. I was approaching the off ramp which would take me back to where I used to live.

 

3 minutes. Getting closer and closer. I was driving as fast as I could, trying to escape the grips of time.

 

4 minutes, I was welcomed to the town by a sign blurred by my speed

 

4 minutes, 30 seconds. I could see the hill. Where it all began.

 

4 minutes, 40 seconds. I saw the white cross, stuck to the fence. Mum still put flowers by it every Saturday.

 

4 minutes, 55 seconds. I was doing it! I was escaping!

 

Dad glanced up from the road to his stopwatch and turned to me with an excited grin. “Five minutes! You’ve been driving on the road perfectly for five minutes! How does it feel eh?”

“It’s great dad! It feels so free!” I glanced back to him, saw the excited grin on his face as he shared his true passion with me. Father passing on to son.

 

His grin faded and he looked past me.

 

“Son! Look ou-

 

I snapped out of it, looked where my dad was looking in my memory. I tried to regain control in time but it was too late.

 

The stopwatch beeped.

 

 

5 minutes.

Feb 12th - 15th Eleven Fingers??

Right-o.

Firstly I apologize for the lack of posts, I have been in Whangaparoa for choir camp. That sounds really geeky until I mention it's on of the top 3 choirs in New Zealand.

Anyway I'm going to list the highlights of the past few days, in no particular order.

Firstly, I hypnotised 4 people on camp. One girl (one of my mates for about 5 years now) I hypnotised 7 times. 7 times. I made her hand stick to her knee, I made her forget her name, I made her think that a guy was wearing a red party hat becasue it was his birthday and I made her forget the number 2. It's always amusing to see someone count your fingers and find 11. I even made her get drunk on water. It was absolutely brilliant!!

Secondly the piece 'Past Life Melodies' by Sarah Hopkins is INCREDIBLE. I splits into 11 parts and has harmonic singing as inspired by tibetan monks and it creates a truly meditative and entrancing atmosphere.

Thirdly Valentines day makes me depressed. Enough on that.

While I'm here, I would like to promote the International Association of Teenage Hypnotists as I managed to do all of the things mentioned with all the lessons attained by simply signing up. You can do a course which costs around $400 dollars but the free lessons will get you a good headstart. Even if you don't want to hypnotize people, It is truly fascinating to learn more about it and it gives you more of an insight into how we humans work

Feb 11th - The Guy. AGAIN.

I'm getting so sick of The Guy.

You know how I said he said that he wasn't going for the part? 

He fucking was. GRRR

Absolutely hate it when people go back on what they say. I thinkt he worst part was that I had gotten my hopes up and was feeling great about my audition until I found out he was auditioning for the role. Not a chance in hell now.

Bet I'll get the part of the gay kid. I always either seem to bea charcter that's gay or in drag when I get cast.

Sigh.

Feb 9th - Hypnotism

Today I found a website called the International Association of Teenage Hypnotists. Once you join there are many free lessons available which will guide you most the way. However if you wish to become certified, there is a course which is about $300 which will end in your certification as a hypnotist.

While I would enjoy having to answer what the C.H at the end of my name meant, I don't have 3oo bucks at the moment.

Plus the fact that's 300 US.

I have enough ebooks on hypnotism to last me a while, I just need to find a willing subject...

Sorry for the short post, it's a chool night and I need to get my sleeping pattern back together :P

Feb 8th - Autism and Gaming

I just read this article, it pretty much blew me away so I think it's worth sharing as my thing for the day. Read it in full because it is a fascinating story.

I do wholly reccomend The Escapist not only for it's articles but because it also has some of the funniest videos you can find on the net. Zero Punctuation, Unskippable and Doomsday Arcade  are my favorites. Enjoy!

Feb 7th - The Guy

I was kidding, I left the last post on a cliffhanger ending just to screw with you all. In reality The Guy turned to me and said of his own accord that he didn't want the main part. He may or may not have meant this but IF HE DID it means that some other loser (eg Me) actually has a shot at the part. 

So I've been Researching Tenacious D (Found the complete masterworks 2 at JB today so I'm really happy I don't have to order it from the states) and gearing up for the epic audish on tuesday.

Also avoid the Toyworld near JB in the albany mall LIKE THE PLAGUE. They have these high intensity neon lights that have a slight blue tinge to them which isn't bad, makes all the colours kinda buzzy. But the worst thing is they strobe. Really fast. I felt sick and anxious while under them. Not fun.

Any tips for the audition? How would you define Jack Black? cause someone else's viewpoint would help :P

Feb 6th - My main man JB

The next blog asked me to read this card, so here goes: "In the ancient mists of time and space, there was a man who did make sweet sweet music with the goddess of reason who bestowed upon him the powers of pure awesome." He is here, Give it up for JACK BLACK!

After the lukewarm reception of The Wind in the Willows last year and with the emmigration of our resident director, the new drama teacher has proposed an epic show for this year's production. The School of Rock. 

I'm excited, you can tell because I'm using bold lettering and italics every now and again for emphasis. I am one of the hugest fans of Tenacious D, I can sing every song of theirs, almost perfectly - even more perfect when tipsy. Tenacious D and The Pick of Destiny is my ultimate guilty pleasure movie. It was created with the fans in mind. They didn't give a shit about people who didn't catch the memo of what they were missing out on in life and that's why it bombed but is amazingly good.

I wasn't excited when the news first came out about the show because my school is host to a phenomena you may or may not be familiar with. It's called 'The Guy syndrome'. What this entails is that the school has one The Guy. The Guy gets everything he wants and some things he doesn't want. He is The Guy that the young ones look up to and the elders despise as he has everything they ever wanted and he is everything they ever wanted to be because he is The Guy.  No-one fucks with The Guy.

So when I tell you that I had a momentary glimpse of something awesome, it was shadowed by the presence of The Guy. I knew I had no chance of fulfilling my dream, of pretending to be The Ultimate Guy -  Jack Black because The school's The Guy would get the part, hands down, no questions asked. I was crushed. I was angry. Worst of all, I was vengeful.

I knew I had to kill The Guy.

Feb 4th - Inspirational Speakers and Chivalry

Right 2 topics this time - Inspiration and Chivalry

Today at school we had W. Mitchell come speak to us. Don't ask me what the W stands for, I have no idea. He was horrifically burnt in a motorcycle accident which resulted in 65% of his body being burnt. Later after years of recovery and getting his life back together, He was paralyzed in a plane accident from the waist down. The first accident took his fingers and after skin grafts and months in hospital he looks like this:

Today he delivered a truly amazing speech to us about his life. The two messages I took from it were these:

1 - Responsibility means your ability to respond to the situation at hand
2 - It's not what happens to you that matters, It's how you respond to it

And on the topic of chivalry, my bus was absolutely pack this afternoon going home so there were about 7 girls standing and lots of guys sitting down. So I got up and let 2 girls sit down, expecting all the other guys to do the same and follow my example as the only 7th former on the bus, but they didn't. I didn't do it for thanks or to make myself look good and for all the girls to go "Oh look at him being so polite, I want some of that" thought hat would've been an added bonus :P

My message to all guys is to bring chivalry back because it's really important so all the girls feel some loving!

Any similar chivalry situations? Girls, how do you feel when someone does something similar?

Feb 2nd - Auditions

I really freaking hate auditions. I mean they're fine in hindsight but in a bulk situation like choir auditions today, you feed from everybody else's nervousness and it builds up inside you. I have small lapses within myself which worry me, so I downloaded a self confidence course. It's one half overly happy dude talking and the other half hypnotism so should be interesting.

Has anyone had an experience with hypnotism? For/Against?

(I'm going to ask a question every blog and you have to answer them lol)

Feb 1st - First of the month

Yes I am in denial over January 31st existing :P

So here we are, the second month of the new year. Which means I have been doing this project for a month now. I'd be interested to know your opinion about what I've covered so far and which kind of post you liked the most, I'm open to feedback.

As far as a personal journey goes, I am starting to notice smaller things in my life that are pretty damn cool. However my mistake is having a sense of duty to my blog which is tainting the experience I think. It's turning into a chore which is completely beside the point.

I'm going to keep updating this as regularly as possible but I'm not going to restrict myself to a rigmarole that annoys me (I'm not sure if that's the word but I've always wanted to use it in a sentence). It will be easier when I'm not wading through school admin crap and having to adjust my sleep cycles.

So feedback below please, keep reading, keep commenting - The more people show that they're reading; the more motivated I am! Also I'd like you to tell me some of your remarkable things for the day you're commenting on so by all means chuck that below too :)

Peace out